i wanna be the knife that just cuts into my hand

some stuff i wrote last nighttidal waveI'm not allowed to have feelingsor, if I am, I'm not allowed to talk about themI'm not allowed to write them down, or dance them out, or cry them away. The minute I put them into the world, as solids they can be found and they always find them- once found the claim them as their own- say I had no right to put themout there- make me feel guilty for ever feeling them in the first place.So, for the most part I keep them inside, try not to make waves, I smile, give advice- I'm everyone's friend. I'm tired of wading in calm waters waiting so still- trying not to cause even the slightest rippleI'm ready to make a tidal wave....Please Don'tPlease don't say you're sorryit only makes it hurt moreplease don't say it means nothingit only makes me feel lessplease just walk awayplease just let me cryPlease don't tell me you love herdon't sayher eyes are like diamondswhen she smilesplease just walk awayplease just let me cryPlease dont' say foreverwhen you don't even mean nowplease don't say neverwhen you don't know howjust say what you used to sayand then, please, just walk away