Hmmm...Miami Vice....

I love Jimmy Fallonyes I do

i just wa...

i just want to heara voice at the other endi just want to reach outand feel a hand waiting for me.sometimes, when i can't see youi think you're gone.and i am afraid of the dark.

lyrics lyrics

This is how this works: there's questions, and you have to answer them. That seems easy enough, right? Well, the difficult part is that you have to answer the questions with lyrics from songs. You can't use any answers from the person before you, and send it to everyone you know including the person who sent it to you. Have fun! (sent to be by dropofjupiterRachael)********************************************** DESCRIBE HOW YOU LOOK: "Blue eyesBaby's got blue eyesLike a deep blue seaOn a blue blue day"-Elton John (Blue Eyes) "She rolls the window downAnd sheTalks over the soundOf the cars that pass us byAnd I don't know whyBut she's changed my mind"-Evan and Jaron (Crazy for this Girl) So I'm a little left of centerI'm a little out of tuneSome say I'm paranormalSo I just bend their spoonWho wants to be ordinaryIn a crazy mixed-up worldI don't care what they're sayin'As long as I'm your girl. -Michelle Branch (You Get Me) I wanted to be like youI wanted everythingSo I tried to be like youAnd I got swept away-Michelle Branch (All You Wanted)TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF: "Catherine runs away from herself. Catherine lives on borrowed time. "-Weeping Willows (Catherine)"You see when I've touched the sky The earth's gravity has pulled me down But now I've reconciled that in this world Birds and angels get the wings to fly If you can believe in this heart of mine If you can give it a try Then I'll reach inside and find and give you All that sweetness that I have At this point in my life "-Tracy Chapman (At This Point in my Life) She smiles through a thousand tearsAnd harbours adolescent fearsShe dreams of allThat she can never beShe wades in insecurity yeahAnd hides herself inside of meDon't say she takes it all for grantedI'm well aware of all I haveDon't think that I am disenchantedPlease understandIt seems as though I've always beenSomebody outside looking inWell, here I am for all of them to bleedBut they can't take my heart from meAnd they can't bring me to my kneesThey'll never know the real me-Mariah Carey (Looking In) But I have no regrets no guilt in my heartI only feel sadness for any pain that I've causedI guess I wouldn't bother to worry at allIf I'd lived rightDo you live by the book do you play by the rules?Do you care what is thought by others about you?If this day is all that is promised to youDo you life for the future the present the past?If there is one thing I know I know I will dieIf anyone cares some stranger my critique my lifeI may be revered or defamed and decriedBut I tried to live rightThere would be psalms sung by a choirI would have a white robe a halo newly acquiredI'd be at peace and I'd have no desireIf I'd lived right-Tracy Chapman (Unsung Psalm)IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU LIKE WHAT WOULD IT BE: "My heart is telling me, I love you still"- Bob Dylan (Abandoned Love) "So close no matter how farcouldn't be much more from the heartforever trusting who we areand nothing else mattersnever opened myself this waylife is ours, we live it our wayall these words I don't just sayand nothing else matterstrust I seek and I find in youevery day for us something newopen mind for a different viewand nothing else matters " -Metallica (Nothing Else Matters) "Where you are is all there is, the only place I want to be"- Julian Lennon (Day After Day)IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO YOUR WORST ENEMY WHAT WOULD IT BE: "You got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend, when I was down you just stood there grinning." -Bob Dylan (Postivly 4th Street) "Take that look off your faceI can see through your smileYou would love to be rightI bet you didn't sleep good last nightCouldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my doorWell, I've got news for you: I knew before"-Song and Dance (Take That Look off Your Face)WHERE WOULD YOU GO TO VACATION: "I remember we wre driving driving in your carThe speed so fast I felt like I was drunkCity lights lay out before usAnd your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulderAnd I had a feeling that I belongedAnd I had feeling I could be someone, be someone,Be someone""-Tracy Chapman (Fast Car)HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW: "Says it feels right this timeTurn around, found new high lightsGood day to be alive SirGood day to be alive, he said.....Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnelis just a freight train coming your wayThen it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnelis just the freight train coming your way" -Metallica (No Leaf Clover)HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR BEST FRIENDS: "If you're ever lonely, you can call on me I will be there for you, all you've got to do is call I'm always waiting here for you All you've got to do Is keep on trying til your call gets through" -Hanson (Ever Lonely) "Everyday is a new day I?m thankful for every breath I take I won?t take it for granted So I learn from my mistakes It?s beyond my control, sometimes it?s best to let go Whatever happens in this lifetime So I trust in love You have given me peace of mind "-POD (Alive)HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR WEEKENDS: "I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well..."-Beastie Boys (Brass Monkey)WOULD YOU DO A ONE-NIGHT STAND? "She'll let you in her mouth if the Words you say are right If you pay the price She'll let you deep inside But there's a secret garden she hides"-Bruce Springsteen (Secret Garden)WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WERE DOING RIGHT NOW: "We'd cruise along the 101 in the California sun" - Ataris (1*15*96)"Together againIt would feel so good to beIn your armsWhere all my journeys endIf you can make a promise If it's one that you can keep, I vow to come for youIf you wait for me and say you'll holdA place for me in your heart."-Tracy Chapman (The Promise)ANY WORDS OF ADVICE: Cause there is no design for lifeThere's no devils haircut in my mindThere is not a wonderwallto climb or step aroundBut there is a slideshow and it's so slowFlashing through my mindToday was the dayBut only for the first timeHold on, hold onSlow down, slow downYou're out of touchOut of touch-Travis (Slideshow)And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings -mrs potter's lullaby (counting crows)Step into itLift your face into the strong windLeast we miss it's meaningSuch cold beauty exists hereDo you see it?-jewel "This world has taken me as far as it can without your Smile."-Hanson (Smile)

Quality you can taste

I can't wait till we go down to LA this weekend ugh to have Santa Clarita In-N-Out again...*dies*

Where you are is all there is, the only place I want to be

I have walked through the fire as an ordinary manand if I die, I die in peace, part of all that God has planned,'cos I believe in you and the best is yet to come,you've been alone it's true, daddy's work is never done.In my dreams, every night, I see the waves upon the sandand you and I walk alone and there's a ring upon your hand.Yes I believe in you and if my prayers are answered now,I'm coming back , to you, I'm gonna find a way somehow.I'm making my way, each morning I pray for you,day after day,I'll turn every stone, until I get home to you,day after day.Where you are is all there is, the only place I want to beand love is war and war is cold, when you're so far across the sea.still I'm alive, still in love, I hope this letter finds you well,through the blood, through the flames, I can hear those wedding bells.I'm making my way, each morning I pray for you,day after day,I'll turn every stone, until I get home to you,day after day.Darling you know the winds of peace are blowing,(they say the answers written in the wind)still I can hear the fallen angels singing,(our love is stronger than the million miles that separate us)I'm making my way, each morning I pray for you,day after day,I'll turn every stone, until I get home to you,day after day....- "Day After Day " Julian Lennon

where will it lead us from here?

I started this as a paper letter to Keryn, but it's really more of a journal sort of entry anyway.It is so difficult to think about what is happening to the world we live in. I'm afraid for not only my own saftey, but for the saftey of the young men I know, the saftey of the people I will never know. I get this sick, twisting feeling in the pit of my stomcah when I think of the disgustingly real possibility that my friends, the boys I know, the boys I don't know...young, foolish, idealistic, and worst of all, angry, could go far far away, and die. These boys, my friends, my aquantinces, faces on the street, could go away and never come back. Not only that, but this war could also literally be fought here, in the United States. The World Wars were terrifying, but they were so far away, so distant it seemed like an adventure our young men were going on. But this, this could very well be fought on US soil, American civilians could be killed as well. These thoughts make everything else seem so trivial...and yet, I wish the other things, the now seemingly unimportant things would go back to being of the utmost priority.My friend Erich, enlisted in the Marine reserves last year because he thought it would be an easy way to earn a scholorship for college because his parents can't afford to send him. I thought he was stupid when he enlisted, but now I'm just afraid for him, because who knows if he'll end up going somewhere...perhaps he won't, but there is that chance that he will...It just scares me.

today I watche...

today I watched D2 The Mighty Ducks on HBO, Little Giants, and Heavyweights...God bless stupid movies.

How many deaths will it take till he knows, that too many people have died?

I honestly don't know what to say anymore, everything has been said so many times...There's practically no real television, there's no real radio programming...everything, everywhere is focused on the tradgedy and while I do agree we need to have up to the moment coverage, I just wish there was still that little escape hole that television and radio provide us with. I can not even imagine the New York skyline without those towers, it feels like there isn't only a gaping hole in the skyline, but in me because things like this just aren't supposed to happen here. I'm not supposed to wake up on a Tuesday morning in September to find my mom upstairs crying, frantically trying to reach her sister in New York because we are so afraid she may be dead. I'm not supposed to answer the phone and have my Uncle Pat tell me my 95 year old Great Uncle Peter passed away in the morning, but since the phone lines are all tied up we have no idea how he died, only that he wasn't in Manhattan, but in a nursing home somewhere upstate. I'm not supposed to feel so afraid that I can't sleep at night, nor am I supposed to be afraid to drive myself to school in the mornings. I'm not supposed to go to school today, Wednesday, September 12 and not be able to do my Streetcar monologue because I'm crying. It isn't supposed to happen. It just isn't, and it makes me terribly sad, fearful and angry because things like this SHOULDN'T happen, anywhere. No one, in any country, on any continent should go through the horrors we put each other through. We are so cruel, all of us, from the people who masterminded these most recent, savage acts of terrorism, to those of us who sat at home thinking "damn those middle eastern people..." We are so easy to blame, and yet so unwilling to forgive, and find compassion. I've heard many people say we should go in and bomb the fuck out of "those people." That's right, let's go into a country, or a region and just let loose all our "big, bad American power" because that is just going to fucking solve everything isn't it? Let me tell you something, I may be angry as hell at who did this, but I certainly do not want to see my friends going off to fight some war. We do not need that. Our generation has been so lucky, we didn't have Korea, or Vietnam, and we certainly have no concept of what WW1 and 2 were like, and I hope we all thank God for that because with the technology we have now, no one would win, we'd simply all be dead. There has got to be some better way for us to all live on the planet, because it is ALL we have. We only get ONE shot, we don't get do overs...this isn't a dress rehersal, this is the real deal, and if we fuck it all up, we do not have another week of shows to smooth out the kinks. We have got to find a way for us to all get along in a peaceful manner, because we are all we've got here...How many roads must a man walk downBefore you call him a man?Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sailBefore she sleeps in the sand?Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls flyBefore they're forever banned?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.How many times must a man look upBefore he can see the sky?Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man haveBefore he can hear people cry?Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knowsThat too many people have died?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.How many years can a mountain existBefore it's washed to the sea?Yes, 'n' how many years can some people existBefore they're allowed to be free?Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,Pretending he just doesn't see?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.-"Blowin in the Wind" Bob Dylan

I'm so tired...

It makes sense that it should happen this wayThat the sky should breakAnd the earth should shakeAs if to say:Sure it all matters but in such an unimportantwayAs if to say, heyFly awaySweet bird of preyFly, fly awayNothing can stand in your waySweet birdIf you knew the wordsI know that you'd say flyFly awayIt makes sense that it should hurt in this wayThat my heart should breakAnd my hands should shakeAs if to say:Sure it don't matter except in the most importantwayAs if to say:Hey, fly awaySweet bird of preyFly, fly awayI won't stand in your waySweet birdIf you knew the wordk I know that you'd sayFly, fly awayIt makes sense that it should feel this wayThat you slowly fadeAnd yet still remainAs if to say:Everything matters in such an invisible wayAs if to say:It's okFly Away-"Fly Away" PoeI'm really tired right now...just totally drained, and I'm leaving for dance in about an hour and a half so I can get measured for my new dress and all that... I just want to lay down and take a nap right now though ...ugh sooooo tired...I want to by Music From Another Room*adds to wishlist*

sometimes i wish tomorrow would never come...

I have French and Character Development and Scene Study tomorrow. I don't want to go the the acting class, I don't want to go, I don't like it, I don't. The teacher kinda creeps me out, the other students scare me, the whole damn class scares me, and we're gonna have to do scenes from Hedda and I just don't want to. Maybe this is one of those learning experiences...The atmosphere of my beginning acting class is so much nicer than this character development&scene study class. The beg. acting class is just...acting, it isn't some stupid pretentious "be the tree" acting....acting just is. If it isn't just being, if it isn't just doing then it's not real, and it sucks...that's all there is to it, and I can not stand the people who say "I'm taking this class so I can find myself, blah blah blah be true to myself blah blah." I want to say to them "who do you think you're fooling? You're taking this class because you want to be an actor, you want to go from here to the stage or screen or the street corner, wherever the fuck you want to go..." I hate pretensious people like that, they just annoy me. Acting isn't about "what's my motivation?" it's about your reactions to things...it can't get any more simple than that. I said I didn't really like Hedda Gabbler and I didn't really want to do scenes from it and someone said to me "well if you were doing the play you'd just do it..." okay, if I don't like a play, I wouldn't have auditioned for it in the first place, being assigned a random play to do scenes from I dunno....I just hate the way going to that class makes me feel.I sit there, in the dark and my stomach is in knots because I don't feel like I belong there. I miss Gigi, I miss the IH stage, I miss the auditorium, I miss Joe, I miss the dance room upstairs and the way the curtains smell. I just don't think I'm good enough, and it wears me out.

at this point in my life....

got a new layout at fraZZledwoo hoo

add one hot day, a pinch of Frinker and Frontierland Park...

Frinker:"some guy at work thinks you're hot..."Me:"oh really?"Frinker:"Yeah, but I forget his name..."Hahaha! So, I now have decided I need to make Village Host *the* Hangout...Today we danced at the San Mateo County Fair. It was hot, and lot, and late and loud and just blllllaaaaaaah the only good part was getting to hang out with Frinker. *sighs* Anyway, on the way to Tara's party we got totally lost, and ended up in Half Moon Bay which sucked. I was so not in the mood to deal with that. We were in bumper to bumper traffic for four and a half miles before I could turn around and miss the exit again.It was fun once we finally got there though. I'll have to write more later I'm just...totally wiped out. I got sunburnt a bit.

i wanna be the knife that just cuts into my hand

some stuff i wrote last nighttidal waveI'm not allowed to have feelingsor, if I am, I'm not allowed to talk about themI'm not allowed to write them down, or dance them out, or cry them away. The minute I put them into the world, as solids they can be found and they always find them- once found the claim them as their own- say I had no right to put themout there- make me feel guilty for ever feeling them in the first place.So, for the most part I keep them inside, try not to make waves, I smile, give advice- I'm everyone's friend. I'm tired of wading in calm waters waiting so still- trying not to cause even the slightest rippleI'm ready to make a tidal wave....Please Don'tPlease don't say you're sorryit only makes it hurt moreplease don't say it means nothingit only makes me feel lessplease just walk awayplease just let me cryPlease don't tell me you love herdon't sayher eyes are like diamondswhen she smilesplease just walk awayplease just let me cryPlease dont' say foreverwhen you don't even mean nowplease don't say neverwhen you don't know howjust say what you used to sayand then, please, just walk away

been meaning to do this...

7 Things I'm Afraid Of:1. dark parking structures2. dying alone3. spiders4. car accidents5. life6. never doing anything important7. losing my chances with people7 Things That Make Me Laugh:1. Malcolm in the Middle2. Pinky & The Brain3. Monty Python4. my friends (Raca,Stephanie, Kerny, Ktae, Clarity, Aitzi, Geor, Ashley, Meghan, Monica, Leslie, can't think now)5. Home Improvment6. The Princess Bride7. Detroit Rock City7 Things That Make Me Cry:1. Stephen2. being lonely3. cutting myself4. walking into things (well not always)5. certain songs6. losing people i love7. when i laugh really hard7 Things I Lvoe:1. my true friends2. Hanson3. dance4. writing5. hugs6. my family7. music7 Things I Don't Understand:1. certain people2. some of my fears3. math4. "atlas shrugged"5. boys6. britney spears7. age7 Things On My Desk:1. money2. nail polish and nail polish remover3. checkbook4. magazine cut outs and pictures to put on my wall5. my cd holder6. a very old can of Vimto i got on our first trip to europe7. my sunglasses7 Things To Do Before I Die:1. tell him how i feel about him2. go to australia3. write a novel4. make a movie5. record an album6. meet hanson7. tell ashley7 Facts About Me:1. i like my car2. my hair isn't naturally red *shhh*3. i'm listening to Counting Crows right now4. i want to go back to santa clarita for my birthday, even if i know i can't5. my eyes get really green if i'm wearing a dark shirt when i cry.6. i feel responsible for things that aren't my fault7. i don't like being mean to people. even people i don't like.7 Things I Am Doing Right Now:1. listening to "Catapult"2. feeling lonely, and sad, and just blah3. wishing i had some candy4. thinking about writing more of Drag even though i feel like it's becoming a lost cause5. thinking i should have gone to sleep hours ago6. wishing i could just call and talk to him tomrrow without all the weirdness that's there.7. thinking i wish kerny were online

i love counting crows

i wanna be the light that burns out your eyes'cause i know there's little things about methat would sing in the silence of so much rejectionin every connection i makei can't find nobody homei wanna be the last thing you hear when you're falling asleep...-"catapult"

driving man...just driving

ah i did massive amounts of freeway driving tonight.the whole evening started out with me picking up tara, and then the two of us picking up nicole. we then headed to village host only to find brendan was not working. however, as distraught as we were, we ate there anyway, and will return...the food is muy bueno. the pizza is way better than roundtable...so were the boys...after that we went to shaw's for ice cream, i had rocky road, it was very good. we sat in the parking lot there and decided where to go, thought we should go ice skating so we stopped by nicole's house so she could get more money and a sweatshirt for tara. i suggested we call melissa and see if she wanted to join our little partay. she did, so we picked her up (i now know where she, amy and nicole live so i feel all knowledgable and shit). it was funny she wasn't ready right away so we sat across the street from her house for like ten minutes (probably less) and evan waved at us from the front window lol. once we had melissa with us, we headed toward bridgepoint. funny thing, it seemed everyone in the car kept forgetting that I HAD NO IDEA WHERE WE WERE GOING.we missed the fashion mall or whatever it's called exit and had to backtrack quite a bit because the answer to"do i go east or west?" is not"uhhhhhh" as i'm passing the eastbound part of the exit. hehe but it was fun. we ended up driving around this little neighborhood our new thing is"just keep going straight" hehewhen we finally reached fashion island highway/bridgpoint whatever the hell it is, we go into the ice place and there's a hockey game...so we deicded to go see a movie. after more driving around in circles we found the movie theater and saw legally blonde. it was a very cute movie..very funny.the movie ended and tara was freaking out cause it was like 11:30 and her mom was probably gonna be pissed once she got home. since we had to drop off melissa and nicole and we were in redwoodcity which is way out of my ass on the peninsula. as we're on the freeway my cell phone rings and it's amy who is waaaaaaaaay fucked up. she was so drunk and crap so she talked to us, told us she was at mills...when we dropped nicole off melissa suggested we try to find amy, so we drove to mills and found her... we took her home cause well.. yes. then we dopped melissa off, and then amy and then it ook tara home. i finally got home at around 12:45 and had to find a parking spot on the other side of the street so i don't get a ticket this morning when they clean the streets... no one was awake when i got home... i just hope i don't get in trouble tomorrow for being so late...but you know, if i do i don't mind so much, i'm glad we went and picked up amy. i was worried about her.. and i'm glad i took her home, i'd rather get in trouble for being late because i went out of the way to make sure a friend of mine was okay, than to have been earlier and not known what happened to her. so here i am now, at 2am thinking "well that was a fun evening" hehewe'll all have to do it again sometimemonica sent me bayarea.citysearch.com tonight so i've been drifting around there. monica and i are going to go to the pez memoriblia place in burlingame sometime :0)i also told her i'd take her to village host some night, cause the pizza was really really good...okay i'm going to shut up now.

found these in my notebook...

they say there are two sides to every coinseems lately I can't get it to land on the right sideyou're on the other side, standing there, will you be waiting for me?*********************************************I want a perfect lifeI want a happy endingevery conflict-summed upsloved and put awayin a thirty minute time slotI hate thingswhen they're to be continuedgotta wait around to find out how it's going to endI wanna live in TV landeverything's so much easier thereworst thing to happen- sent to bed without dinnerI want a life where nothing goes wrongnothing that can't be fixed somehowcause in TV land, I'd still be with you.*****************************************Those days, they seem so far awayhow we stood, watching eachotherfor some sign that it was okayto feel waht I thought you feltto see the things I swore you could see.Maybe I was wrongmaybe I was rightplease proove it to mecome see me tonightI left with no real goodbyeI think I was hopingit wasn't really goodbyeI still wish I was with youbut I know not all wishes can come trueI listen to the songs that leave me so lonelyso lonely I feel something in me dieslowly, but surely I watch myself fade awayall because in my mindI've said goodbyewon't you please wait for me...

you took my imagination, and stomped it in the ground...

I've been trying to figure out how to piece together parts of Drag...I'm really happy with what I have written which is intersting, I usually dont' like anything I write...I just feel like I need to write this, because even though parts of it are exagerations, it's her. She's going to be here and I need to get it out, I need to do whatever it is that's coming out of me because it just might kill me if I don't. I'm not sure how to even explain what she is in relation to me, because there are so many times where everything has been flipped around...I just know, she never really was a friend, even if she and,or I thought so. Friends don't do or say the things she's said and done to me. They just don't...people don't treat other people the way she treated me. I feel slightly hypocritical talking about it because a lot of things she's said to me, or I've said to her have been about how we should sort of forget things that happened in high school... but to me, the whole Richard thing, the whole stupid asshole boy thing, and her are totally different, even though they're tightly intertwined. I see her as this destructive, manipulative force in my life, one that just keeps following me, and sucking everything away like a parasite. With her, things are planned, she doesn't just do things because, she does them because she knows they'll hurt. ...but I digressI'm listening to "Both Hands." I haven't listened to this in a while, and suddenly I wanted to hear it, so I put it on. I need to learn how to play my damn guitar, or find someone who can who wants to write songs with me lol. I have lyrics, I just don't have any music to go with those lyrics, and it's driving me nuts.Erich had suggested asking Brendan at one point, but I'd feel really awkward calling his house, I really don't know that his mom ever liked me, and calling long distance is not good. Besides, anytime I've sort of talked to him online he's been really distant, and I don't know if it's just me, or what, but... things just aren't the same as they were two or three years ago...if we were both still in high school, doing the plays again I could probably ask him and during down times we could have worked or something...I just don't know anymore. Anyway, we may be having company tomorrow, which I'm not so excited about...I want to go do something tomorrow, or Sunday but having company will make that impossible. I'll be expected to stay and entertain with my parents. Not that I have anything planned right now anyway, but... I'm just so bored sitting at home. I'll have to talk to Tara and Nicole and Amy and them on Monday or something. Tara will be home Monday I think is what she said, maybe Monday depending on when she gets in we can go to Village Host or something. Maybe make a big old girls night out sleepover or something fun like that. I need to get Tara and Melissa cards or something for their birthdays... I still need to figure out whatever it is I'm doing for my birthday, which just seems at some points really far away, and then at others exceedingly close... ah time flies...

....and I have no ass

permablush: i sing as good as her, if not better. it sucks.tinycatherine789: of course you sing better!tinycatherine789: and you don't need a fat ass to be coolpermablush: my butt is *not* insured for a million dollars. hers is.tinycatherine789: that is scarypermablush: i wonder if she lost weight if it'd be worth less. hahahaha.tinycatherine789: i have no ass, so i can not even contemplate the idea of having one so large one must insure ittinycatherine789: lolpermablush: exactly.permablush: my ass is non-existent.tinycatherine789: "i'm sorry j-lo, your ass only weighs 25 pounds now, as opposed to last week's 30, your ass is now worth five pounds less.." Cate, Karen and Cate's non-existant ass. Go on, click to make it bigger, I still have no ass.I also scanned this one yesterday because I realized I never did scan it, and it is the visual that goes along with my funny driving story Raca...granted this picture was taken in like 1987 and it was snowing (a sure sign of the apocalpys to those who live in Southern California) but that wall...the little one, where the rounded wall and the other connect, yes Cate hit that wall her frist time driving... I'm so talented sometimes I scare myself.

i want you so bad, i think you ought to know that i intend to hold you for the longest time....

*le sigh*I actually did something tonight, I'm so proud. I was social lol.I emailed Amy, Tara and Nicole last night saying yo, summer's almost over let's do something tomorrow night. So, I talked to Amy and Tara about it last night, and we decided we'd call each other the next day and yada yada. So, today around 4? I called Tara and she was packing for the Arizona Feis she's randomly going to this weekend, and would call me when she could go out. So, I chatted with Amy about it a bit online, and then Tara called me back, and was like "Let's go to Village Host and harass Brendan." and I'm always down for that, so I said sure, and she gave me Nicole's phone number. So, Tara called Village Host, and I called Nicole and we decided that I would pick up Tara, and we'd go to Amy's house, then we'd all go to Nicole's. Well the people at Village Host said they didn't think Brendan was working, so when we got to Amy's and she deiced to drive too, we just picked up Nicole and crusied around Burlingame Ave. for a while. Then we went to TGI Friday's and ate and then went back to the Ave. Anyway, Burlingame is apparently one of the places for hot boys...I enjoyed Burlingame...Tara and I have decided we need to spend more time there. Tara and I will probably go harrass Brendan sometime next week...when she gets back from the feis. That will be fun.Tara wanted me to tell her the whole Steve story, so I got to tell that, and it seriously made me sort of sad to tell it, because on the 17th, it'll have been a whole year! a YEAR! that's such a long ass time.... but I guess that's what happens time keeps on moving...

sometimes, I forget

sometimes i forget you existand my world is just hangingover some blacknesslike a cloud ready to explode with rain.then, when i least expect ityou return, and pull the globe into the abyssand me along with itno matter what i dono matter what i sayyou keep coming backand i can't get you off my backand sometimes, when i'm happyi forget you exist

rewind, rewind, rewind

I've been sitting here, talking to Ashley, and watching the OLA show over, and over, and over. I'm such a loser sometimes. I'm going through serious dance withdrawls. This is what happens to me when I don't have dance three times a week, I sit, and I watch our Saint Patrick's Day shows over and over again thinking how damn cute we all are. I'm especially fond of the three hand from this show, but I'm rather biased so really that means nothing. I'm beginning to realize that certain things in life aren't going to happen, like I probably won't get to see Ashley and Stephen until September, which seems like such an unbearably long time I can't even stand it. I probably won't have a birthday party for a third or fourth or however many years in a row it is now... I can't even remember anymore. How sad is that? I suppose this is payback for every Chuck-E-Cheese birthday I ever had, I think I had four, so yeah...I just miss people, and because I have nothing to do with myself I miss the even more. I'm watching the parade now, all the little kids scrambling down Market, and Trisha's loud voice calling "WAAAALK! WALK!" hehe in this video you can sort of see our age group, since on the televised version you get two seconds of me and Brendan and that's it. Not that those are the most beautiful two seconds of the whole parade, but you know... some people view that as lack of our age group in general.I keep forgetting to update here. I still feel all awkward about the Little Crocodile one because I just feel like I'mbeing watched, and that everything I say there is being turned into one of those "well in your online journal you said this about me..." It's so stupid I can't even stand it. If she's still pissed off about something that happened in April, something that we *talked* about, and let me tell you we talked, I have the phone bills to proove it, then what the fuck you know. There are just some people who since high school has ended have shown what kind of friends they are, and that's fine. There are people who I haven't talked to since graduation and were pissed that I didn't call them on their birthday, well too fucking bad. I don't expect to hear from you anymore, don't expect to hear from me. I'm tired of always being the one that makes the giant effort to call, and keep in touch. I can't do it anymore. I just can't. If that makes me a bitch, then woo hoo gimme a crown, whatever. Oh dear god, the old ones saying "Howdy" sorry, got sidetracked by the parade...Anyway, so I haven't really written in here in a while because, well...I haven't been doing anything, I haven't seen anyone, I haven't been out except to move my car, and as exciting as that is to me, I'm sure no one else cares when I find the best parking spot, right in front of our house.Ha! on a funny note, I was at this random Josh Hartnett site, and it said one of his favorite bands is The Chieftans, LOL I should send him a tape of us doing Cotten Eyed Joe. "You like the Chieftans? Watch this...we're damn cool." I'm sure he'd appreciate it like I do lol.."Look, there's Cate, and there's the Frinker...oooohh look at how cute we are..."Speaking of, he's gotten WAY tall. Just watching these videos from March, and seeing him last weekend he's WAY taller now than he was at the OLA show the day before the parade. I still need to find that KRON show we did, because it's not as funny just remembering him say "Sometimes!" We are *never* going to let him forget that, his kids will know about that I'm sure."Lovely story really, when your dad was 13..." hahahaIf that's not funny enough the look he gives me when I ask him about his "girlfriend" is just the best. Raca, it's up there with your glare. It's like the Frinker version of the Raca glare...it's hillarious. I'm babbling now...

Concert

The concert last night was awesome. Dancing on a real stage, with real lights, and live music was just incredible. Eileen Iver's was really, really nice, and took pictures with all of us, and her husband is going to send us all t-shirts. Hopefully we're going to get a video of the show from one of the dance parents and copies of pictures, that'd be really nice, because we forgot our camera. I had this weird dream last night. I don't remember all of it, but there was one part, where I was trying on this really pretty green dress that was supposed to be for Winter formal or something, and I had to go and ask April (who went to my high school) if I could still buy a bid...it was odd but um yeah, Then I was sitting on the Mann's front porch (at their old house) putting ice in the front planter boxes. The front door was open and someone was vaccuming, and in the dream I knew that I was doing this, throwing ice in the planters, as a special surprise or something...that they weren't supposed to know about. Then Stephen came out while I was doing it, and was smiling and asked why I was doing it, and I said "because I read somewhere, that if you put ice in it, it stays watered longer in the summer, and it'll be greener..." and he was all happy about that, and said something about how he liked it when everything was all green, and then he huged me,and was saying things about how much we had in common, and how perfect we are or something and I started to cry.weird

Saturday...

Today, I washed my car. :0) I know, it's not that big of a deal, but I've never had my own car to wash before, so I was excited. What can I say? I'm easily amused. I am very excited about tonight. In a few hours I'm going to be at Davies hall, in the San Francisco Symphony. The other day I looked at the hall online to see what it looked like, and it is mother effing huge. I am excited, and nervous at the same time. I don't know why I'm so nervous, cause I pretty much know what I'm doing, and it's not like anyone will know if I goof up a bit, but it's so big...it's like...all those people. Lordy...Geor, I hope you have fun!! I'm gonna miss you! I don't have anything else to say...I'll probably update after the show.